when the heart beats fast
it tells
something happens
when the face frowns all day long
it tells
something is not all right
when sound of crickets is heard at night
it tells
the air is very quiet
when lamp produces its sound too
oh yes,
it tells the room is super duper empty.
the more i try,
the more i cry.
the more i avoid,
the more i hurt.
the more i say,
the more i stay away.
the more or the less
is never the thing that i care less..
Have u ever experienced a situation whereby u really wanted to talk, but you lost your words?
Have u ever experienced a situation in which u hardly acquired another party's response?
Have u ever experienced a situation that made your heart beat fast because you could not say what u wanted to say?
Oh yes, u will lose interest when the person you're talking to is losing interest towards your subject. Oh why? Why is this happening? Why should you be treated like this? Are you becoming such a boring, unwanted, annoying alien on Earth? What have u done wrong?
I used to believe in eternity. Sadly, people around me have not proved me that eternity exists. Their actions, words and expressions really show that nothing lasts forever. Kindness will turn into evilness. Sweetness will slowly become bitterness. Happiness will shift to sadness and loneliness. In the end, it will be a life of nothingness. That is the fact of life that we should accept. That is the fact of life that we should let others know. That is the fact of life that hurts the most.
The word 'forever' seems so far to me. I do not know why. Maybe you made me feel that way. Maybe you're the one that does not want me to believe in it. Or maybe you're afraid of 'forever'. Something bad has penetrated my mind and my soul. It corrupts the way I view life. It makes me see things differently. It makes me wonder of things that I should and should not do. But i really want to believe in 'forever' *Very long sigh*
Oh my. I want you to believe that there is eternity, there is forever and there is long lasting. Three different words but carry the same meaning. One meaning that makes you change your perception. Fortunately, the perception that is going to get born will light your way. All you need is, have a strong belief in eternity. All you need is effort, to make what you believe to become believable.
It's been a while I haven't posted anything in my blog. I've been super duper busy lately and I did not have the chance to click on my blog. Poor me and surprisingly, Facebook has taken its place. OMG! I'm addicted to games in Facebook. Let me name them ; Restaurant City & Cafe World. Somehow or rather, I think that those games do give benefit to me. (eheh) Though the games are time consuming but they teach me on how to be punctual and appreciate every minutes that I have. If you don't believe me, try them out! =)
If you're the true readers of my blog, previously I prefer to post poems because I don't think people would in favour of reading my daily life events. And I myself do not really like to tell every pieces of me to the universe. They have more other important things to do rather than reading my words. Well, I understand that. People have their own rights. Since now I'm so available and I think, I'm going to shift the way I deliver what I feel, so, feel free to read my updates! Winks ;)
Okay.
Firstly, I would like to highlight this phrase which I think it is very meaningful.
"Kesakitan menampar dada, kesunyian merobek hati"
I heard that in radio. (Specifically, on my way back to Kb, from Bangi. Since I've got nothing to do in car, I had to listen every words that DJ said ;p ) All I could say, the phrase is wonderful. The words suit the feelings of a loser ( eh, not a loser, how should I put it more appropriate, erm, the one that is suffering from sadness. okay, that's better I guess) A few minutes later, it made me wonder and curious about how others react to circumstances in life? For Muslims, of course praying hard to Allah. But is there any other alternative that they do to cure the sadness? And how they channel their feelings? Or they rarely put themselves in a situation of sadness? Or they don't even know that they are in sadness? Hoho~
